How to be Awesome... a guide

Here it is... My manual of awesome (literally). The procrastination monster is sitting next to me but it was a choice of the manual or math homework. I don't know... what sounds more appealing to you? Here it goes...



How to be Awesome
By Captain Awesome



Being awesome is an art. It isn't easy to gain awesomeness, even with an awesome mentor. This manual will hopefully help you on the track to become awesome.



Steps:

1. Grow a dinosaur in your backyard

Dinosaurs are the epitome of awesome. So it goes without saying that if you have a dinosaur you will be awesome too. Buy a dinosaur seed from your local market and plant it in a large, shady area. Roar to it once a week and bury some raw meat in the ground near it occasionally. In a month or two, you will have a dinosaur of your very own.



2.Wear a different hat every day

Nobody likes a person who wears the same hat every day. Mix it up a little. One dear you can wear your meat hat and another day you can wear your joker hat.



3.Drink a cup of awesome juice weekly

Awesome juice is a rare juice from the plant of awesome, found only on the planet of awesome. To get there you must picture yourself once you are awesome and there you will be, at the plant of awesome. Be careful only to take one fruit at a time and not to be too greedy, the plant will not like that. Don't eat the actual fruit either or you will turn into a sixty foot catus made of tin cans.

4.Throw glitter at everybody you see
I don't think there is anybody alive who doesn't love glitter, so why not throw some around? That sure will make you awesomer!

5. Be yourself
I am obligated to put this here seeing as if I dont Jill will run away and I don't want Jill to run away. He eats my reflux! So I guess you can be yourself if you want to. Or alternativley be yourself but add some AWESOME FLAKES!!

Warnings

• Although dinosaurs are awesome they also have the potential to eat you. Be careful and be sure not to get the dinosaur angry/hungry
• WATER YOUR DINOSAUR PLANT! It is essential that you do so or you will explode
• If your hat isn't different people will shun you... who wears the same hat every day? pah!
• When you go to get your awesome fruit from the awesome tree be careful not to wake up the monster of awesome or you will be trapped on the planet of awesome FOREVER!!!
• Dont throw glitter into people's eyes

Tips

• If you have the guts, learning to ride your dinosaur will give you an extra billion awesome points
• Unicorn glitter is the best type of glitter!
• Once you think you have achieved the epitome of awesome try to add awesome somewhere into your name. Be creative!