If I were ruler of the universe...

I will make a manual I swear... my procrastination is just screaming at me from the other room. So I was in the shower and I tried to squeeze some soap out of the bottle when a huge giant blob just randomly came out. I stared at it angrily... there was no way that I was going to bother opening up the cap to put some back... If I were ruler of the universe this wouldn't happen. That got me thinking of what an awesome ruler I would be. I think my rulershipness would work out one of three ways.

1. The massive bitch
This is probably the least likely of the three. First, my rulership would start out well. I would put an end to all wars and negotiate things. Then I would distribute food and shelter to those how didn't have any (If you are wondering whose funding this... well I'm bitchy queen, I have an infinite source of cash!). Then I would begin to get all greedy and make everybody in places of high power (eg. Prime Minister and President) to have to resort to me for all decisions made. I would also create a rule that only I am the queen and I will inherit my power when I am dead because I am and always will be queen of the universe. At this point I would also probably refuse to marry anybody in case a. the public likes him better or b. he tries to overthrow me. Then I would get all paranoid that people are trying to overthrow me and I will send search parties to search for the non-believers. Once I find them I will be all... SMITE SMITE SMITE.

As my life progressed I would probably get bitchier and bitchier and die alone. People would also probably try to overthrow me despite my efforts. But it will be OK because then I can go SMITE SMITE SMITE.

2. Super optimistic robot
I will probabley begin my reign in the same way as bitchy queen but I wouldn't get greedy because super optimistic robot queen is PERFECT. This is probabley very unlikely too. So pretty much, after I feed everybody and end war and all that I will sprinkle my happy queen dust over the world. I will be the queen of perfectness and kiss babies and stuff (not in a pervert way... in a non-pervert way). I will marry the perfect man who helps me rule and have perfect little babies and live in perfect castle and rule the perfect world which isn't really perfect and everybody will put on happy faces under their ANGER.

3. Realistic Ruler
I would rule well for a while. Spread my awesomeness around the world. Then I would probably get bored and eat cookies while other people do my work for me. Then when I turn 18, my grandmother (who has turned into my queen coach) tells me to get my ass into gear and rule the world with an iron fist and stop eating cookies. So alongside Jill, who had recentley bathed, I will march out into the world and rule it OKish.

For the like... two people who actually read my blog you are welcome to vote on which queen you would prefer. I am going to get some cookies with Jill.